Product manual included inside!

I feel like our bodies should be given manuals for when we're pregnant, complete with a troubleshooting guide for when you're not sure what's going on or think something is wrong. I would most often need this section:

5) Pain in lower abdomen --

• a. Look in history and determine what you may have eaten in the last 24 hours. Could something have caused you to have severe gas that results in pain that you never felt like this before being pregnant? If you determine it could possibly be something you ate, wait it out and try not to panic. In addition, keep the sheets down, no one likes a dutch oven.
  

• b. If symptoms include a dull pain, recall the 6 hours you just waitressed and raced back and forth from table to table. Ask tables if they really care if their food is still hot when they get it, or if they wouldn't mind if you just slowed down a little bit.
  

Also, maybe this section:

2) No outwardly signs of pregnancy --

• a. Please refer to positive pregnancy tests 1, 2, 3, and 4.

• b. Are you missing something that usually comes every 30 days or so? If you seem to have misplaced the monthly flow, chances are: you're pregnant.

• c. How are those boobs?

And also this one:

8) Lack of nausea --

• Pregnant women everywhere are angry at you for referring to this section. DO NOT mention this to anyone who may have already been pregnant, or may become pregnant.
  

Websites don't always ease your mind because everyone's body is different. Another pregnant woman may not ever experience indigestion, and if they do, they may not have a pain in that exact spot that instantly makes you think something is wrong because of it's proximity to the growing baby. I need a manual catered just to me, to my body's quirkiness. It's scary being pregnant. I know I'm driving Tim crazy when I panic about every little twitch, when I think that the throb in my right knee indicates that everything possible is going wrong. I hope I will start to feel more confident. I have glimpses of this, where I put my hand on my belly and send it strength to keep growing. I know it's all going to be okay, that in less than 8 months I'll have a beautiful baby in my arms. Then where's the manual for that?